summer cleanse

so busy partying for the earthday that i completely forgot to purge and cleanse for the summer solstice. even today, i am eating ice cream and cake from yet another loved one's burfday celebrations. we are deep in the month of june and july. but now im feeling sluggish, piggish and ish. that cant go on. too hot for extra meat. bought some smooth move tea. thinking of sipping on it tonite and the next three nights. that or just take a sea salt cleanse. hope it isnt to uncomfortable but im certain that im pretty toxic:((( might be a bit painful. pain is a deterrent but what choice do i have? it's back to work in a few weeks.

father dearest.

joe jackson is publicizing his new record label, during the press release about Mike's second autopsy and funeral arrangements. can we say blood-sucking opportunist?

BETevil

there are no words for all that coonery. no classics. even the ojay tribute was all teeth. the only bright spot, was the sad occassion, Janet Jackson coming out to speak to the crowd. she reminded folks that mike was family for them, not an icon. ase. jamie is a penis sucking jerk, who did more shucking and jiving then most. and debra lee, as always with no clue. bet thought they did a good job. they even said that they did a great job with a tribute at the last minute. hogwash!

viacom has never agree to be a friend to the blak community. why should they create quality programming for our children? pathetic. that's what it is. bet is eating our children by the droves; contributing to the dumbing down of america. our future does not seem bright.

church anniversary musical and i dont even have a hat.

i have been pressured by my parents all week to attend the church anniversary musical tonite. i mean, both of them have called me, at separate, times to remind me of it. they dont ever both call me for church functions. i thought i had gotten them to the point where they left me alone about church. guess i was wrong. lol.

im going, cuz both of them have asked. im looking at it like a sacrifice. such a simple task, to give of my time, (((when i dont want to))), to attend something that would make my parents' heart smile. but it is the least i can do, in honoring them while they are still here. beside, this will count for sunday service!

and too, im interested in seeing if i shriek back when the church doors hit me, like vampires do sunlight, seeing as how my mom thinks its only the devil got me running from the church. lol.

my prayer for my parents is not that we see common ground.i dont even know if that's possible, considering how old they are. my prayer is that when my mother looks at me, she will have a peace that comes over her, that in her heart of hearts she knows, that I am favored by God. that i am guarded, guided, protected, spared, and blessed by God too.

meditation smeditation

during my birthday massage at a very swanky spa, i decided to practice meditating. i was successful for some minutes. other minutes, my mind wandered off to very far away places. it was always interesting, the conversations in my head, when i caught myself drifting and had to reel them (the thoughts) back in. funnier still, was how i startled myself every time i became aware that i had been mind-rambling. at times, i played complete scenarios out before i caught myself.

it has been many years since i have been a practitioner of yoga/meditation, so it's like learning to roller skate all over again. wobbly is not even the half. instead of schedules that i wont keep, i've devoted only 5 minutes a day to mediate. u'd be surprised how hard it is to come by five minutes, but that's another rant. however, in order to sit for long periods of time, i have to step my yoga game up. (no, 5 minutes is not long but i gradually add minutes so eventually we will have- long periods of time).

"Concentration can be cultivated. One can learn to exercise will power, discipline one's body & train one's mind." - Anil Ambani

the task at hand in yoga is to find union- between mind and body, between the individual and her God, between our thoughts and the source of our thoughts, between teacher and student, etc. (liz gilbert). yoga is sanskrit, translated as 'union'. yoga comes from the root word yuj, which means 'to yoke,' to attach yourself to a task at hand with ox-like discipline. since i suck at discipline, what better way to fight my way up the hill? so those pretzel-like moves we have come to know as yoga, is but only one part: hatha. it's hard enuff as it is to sit still and listen to God speak. it's even harder when your hip is hurting. so bending, twisting and flexing goes hand in hand with sitting to listen. 

after all, praying is talking. meditating is listening. i have come to learn that i talk alot. i dont listen much. and we cant have that!